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for once i thought...
theiasunrise
For once i thought my mom was actually wanting or trying to be my mom. I was sadly mistaken...
She's helping me get my G.e.d which I thought was really cool of her. That's what it started with, a little boost for my future. My mom was almost shining, then she bought me food. Yea sounds harmless, right? That's what she wanted me to think.. but the truth is she was just trying to start a fight between Scott and I. It didn't work because Scott and I are cool, but just the fact that she tried is really irritating.
I was trying to have a good mother daughter relationship with her. My main goal was not to end up like her and her mother(R.I.P Grandma Chris... I miss you!). She disowned her mom for a long time and a year before my grandma passed they started talking. So I'm sure there are lots of things they both never got to say to each other. I don't want that to happen with us...but she's making it so hard with all her secret games. Why can't we just get along without her trying to sabotage Scott through me, It's wrong!
I would love to have both of them in my life.. Scott pretty much raised me, without him i would be less than half of the person I am today. And without my mom well I'd be less crazy but i wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for her. But i refuse to choose sides! I was riding a roller coaster when i lived with my mom but now i feel like I'm in a game of tug-o-war. But i am the flag that is trying to remain stationary. Smack dab in the middle is exactly what i am but i don't want to be pulled to one side. Not that Scott is trying to do this. it's just my mothers sick twisted game and she's trying to recruit me UGH!
You can't always get what you want but you can try your damnedest.

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i love you so much Cass, even though you just made me cry...just remember i'll always be there for you, no matter what.

I made myself cry too when I wrote that.. it was kinda tough to write. I love you too Scotteth and i'll never forget that your always there for me if i need you. and don't you forget you are my hero, if i could be like anyone i know, it would be you because you know what life is all about, you always know what you want and you go and get.

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